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Saturday, January 22, 2011

Soul Restoration thus far...

Hey there... I'm plodding through the Soul Restoration curriculum.  I am behind on every project.  I am not getting my journalling done and I'm thinking... "wow... haven't I done all this work before? why am I doing it again?"   The answer to that being, of course, simple and obvious...because something in me got broken, again.  the course is wonderful, but what I'm enjoying most is the community of women I have gotten a chance to meet.  Fragile, gentle, brave and caring... and oh my goodness--- out-of-the-box talented.    I'll be posting links to some of their blogs soon... because I really think you'll enjoy seeing their work, and getting to know them through their posts and art.  I am struggling with my common demons of too little space, too little time and an overwhelming sense of guilt about taking time for me to create and explore.  The getting back to me has always been a rough clearing of things in my way and I think it's a project better suited for bulldozers and wrecking balls than pruning shears or even chain saws.  I get overgrown... and there's all these little slapped together partial structures... I know I'm still in here... I can hear her... I just don't see the path yet.   There was one, for a very long time... so that it would always be easy for me to get back to the place where I am most me...  but the stuff in my life has spilled into the inside of me and made the journey a fair adventure instead of an easy walk.  Notice that I said "stuff" and not junk... because it's not just the piles of things that I have to deal with that have crowded me out... it is my job, it is the relationships with others, it is the fact that I am having a really hard time keeping things organized in my head...  Habits... that's what it is... habits... So creating new ones or returning to old ones that were successful for me are what I'm learning to do.  

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